One of the best (and simplest) things I’ve done is give my life, my reason behind the decisions I make in my life, a why. Decision making has become a whole lost easier since having a clear why that is based on my values and what’s truly important to me.
I’ve made work decisions, relationship decisions, travel decisions and financial decisions based all around my why in the past. Heck I even bought a new car based on my why (we needed boot space and more backseat legroom so we could comfortably explore and go on road trips- experiences that are important to me).
When it comes to making long lasting decisions in my life- whether that be in my health, my wealth or my relationships- getting my mind on board simply meant that I needed to do one thing: I needed to change my why, my reason behind doing what I was doing.
Creating a strong why, one that is bigger than you and your own needs, pulls you forward in a positive direction. Faster and more enthusiastically.
My why has evolved over time (and so will yours!) My why has given me direction, makes me feel centred, gives me purpose and allows me to look at decisions, change and people from a more loving and empathetic place. When you recognise that everyday you’re simply trying to get your needs met then you are also able to recognise that others are doing the exact same thing as you- even if they’re not aware that they are or their why behind doing what they do.
Everyone has a why.
Everyone. Some simply aren’t aware of their why or clear about it- this is where self-sabotage and self-destruction can creep in to people’s lives- they often want a different result, they’re not super clear on why and so fall back into the habits of past behaviour which of course leads to the same end result.
The intention, your reason behind why you do something drives you and motivates, particularly during those challenging, disheartening, tough times. I don’t want to sound gung ho…….but it’s kind of everything!!!
Do you wake up in the morning and go to work because you have to pay your goddam bills or do you wake up in the morning and go to work to provide the most enjoyable quality of life possible for your loved ones?
There’s a different pep in your step if your reason behind going to work is the latter don’t you think?
My why sits at the front of my diary for me to look at everyday. When I make any major decision that will impact on my life I think about it. It’s the bullseye I’m always aiming for. It’s my guide.
The above is my why. Will my why change? Sure. I can see myself tweaking it to encompass others that become prominent people in my life, perhaps using their individual name or the word family instead of my girls and so on. But I’m at a place in me right now where I’ve found the tone I want to have in my life and relationships so I believe the feel will mostly stay the same.
I’d love it if you could grace yourself right now with the same: a big why that transcends any self-doubt, fear or reluctance to live the life you really want to live (and do so positively and energetically).
My first why looked and sounded nothing like the one above. But it was a good step in the right direction. Yours will be too so be kind on yourself and your early why’s if they feel not quite there yet.
Who & What Is Important To You
The answer to that question is different for everybody and will change for each of us as we age. For some people it’s their children, their families, their spouses, their friends, their career, community, money, travel, freedom, love, luxury items, quality of life, length of life, experiences.
Grab a piece of paper and write down everything that you value and need the most in your life right now. What and who are your priorities? What do you want to give to the loved one’s in your life? Once you’ve done that glance over the list, circle the ones that resonate the most strongly with you and then look for any underlying themes and write those words down that come to mind.
Pull It Together
Once you recognise some underlying themes start pulling together a why that resonates strongly with you. And by resonate I mean a why that sparks an emotional feeling in you that lingers on after you’ve finished reading it. Don’t be disheartened if it reads and feels like a work in progress. As you read your why you will find yourself changing and tweaking it overtime to suit.
Find A Place
As I mentioned before, my why sits at the front of my diary where I see it and read it everyday- at least once. Where is a good place for you to do that? Is there a mirror in your home? Somewhere in your car? The inside of your front door as you leave to start your day? Place it wherever you know you will be reminded and read it regularly.
I’d love to know what’s important to you and the why’s you create in the comments below or on Facebook if you want to share x
* This activity is based on an excerpt from my book A Vibrant Heart which can be found for purchase here.