Everyday happiness…it can feel a little elusive at times. Not everyday is off the charts and full with excitement, travel, wonder and winning at life. Often a day feels like any other day.
We woke up, got out of bed, arrived into work, did what we had to do, ate, if you have children you’ve dropped them off somewhere in the morning and come afternoon you’re picking them up and depending on their age you’re taxi’ing them around before it’s time to come home, cook dinner and then fall on the couch.
For most of us that sums up five of our seven days in the week until we reach the weekend. When we try to catch up around the house, catch up with friends and do the groceries in readiness for next week ahead. It’s not a recipe for discontent but it’s not necessarily a recipe for happiness either.
We can’t change all the things we necessarily have to do in our lives- everyone has a handful of those must do’s. I need to go to work, I need to cook dinner, I need to save money.
One thing we can do however is get clear on what we actually value doing over what we own and what are are doing mindlessly. So what am I talking about here?
I’m talking about what it is that makes you tick. What puts a smile on your face. What makes you feel like today was a great day and this weekend felt so good.
Please grab a piece of paper…
And on it I’d love for you to write down what makes you feel happy when you’re experiencing it, whether it’s daily, weekly or every now and again. For me these are things like getting out into the sunshine, visiting the beach, travelling, brunching with a girlfriend, netflix’ing on the couch occasionally, having flowers in my house, catching a sunrise or sunset, creating something new and exciting for my biz, wine with my friends, doing my pilates workout, connecting and working with like-minded women, feeling fresh in the morning and starting my day with a fruit or veggie based smoothie, cuddles and time with my daughters.
Fill your page and when you’re done look over everything you’ve written down and circle all the things you haven’t done enough of lately. In those things you’ve circled is the secret to why life only feels just ok, F-I-N-E or perhaps even a little hum-drum and mediocre. And not necessarily a life you’d describe as happy and fulfilling.
If life feels this way it’s because you’re not including into your life what you actually love and value doing.
So what to do about this…
Please grab another piece of paper! And on it write “On most days, more often than not I need to for me…” and then write down what makes you happy and what you value. For instance for me this reads something like:
- Wake up early before everyone else, catch the sun rising, drink my coffee or smoothie in peace, glance over my diary and feel organised at the start of my day
- Breathe in and feel a sea breeze
- Get out into the sunshine
- Music, music, music
- Create something
- Engage, connect and smile with others and make someone laugh
- Move my body
Something as simple as eating my lunch in the sunshine while sitting on the grass instead of eating lunch in a stuffy staff room can make my day. And now I’m aware of this I deliberately go about making my day great as often as I can on purpose!
And if you find it valuable you can take this exercise as far as you might need to. “Most weeks, more often than not I need to for me…”, “Every year, at least once I need to for me…” and so on.
Writing down what you value helps you to get clear about what you truly appreciate. And if you’re similar to me it’s not what I own, or what I buy, it’s how I spend my time, who I spend my time with and the relationships in my life that most light me up..
Everyone needs the reminder to readjust where we are spending our time to match our values.