How To Stop Our Negative Thinking

How To Stop Our Negative Thinking

Did you know that…

The average brain has between 25-50,000 thoughts a day! 70% of them are believed to be negative without us even realising that they are.

Frightening thought to consider the radio station that we have playing in our minds as the background music to our lives with us mostly completely unaware of what we’re soaking up as truth as we move throughout our day.

I’ve eaten way too crap much today.
I wish I hadn’t said that.
I’m fat.
Who do I think I am.
I’m not good enough.
I look average today.
No one will miss me if I’m not here.
My life is boring. I am boring.

Our thoughts, our inner dialogue take the pep out of our step and spoil our radiance and positive energy if they’re left to run riot more than anything else for one simple reason. Our thoughts never go anywhere. They go with us wherever we go. We can’t escape them.

They’re just there, always narrating our lives, offering their opinion whether it’s wanted or not, whether they’re right or not. Ever tried shoving a thought to the back of your mind and pretending like it’s not there…doesn’t fix the thought so well does it?!

So how do we get to a point of bliss with our thinking and inner dialogue so we can be that shining, carefree at peace soul that we truly are on the inside?


We accept. We observe. We replace.

With so many thoughts in our mind constantly narrating our in’s and out’s we have to accept that we can’t be in control of all of them. Nor can we catch them all. Thinking a negative thought doesn’t make you a failure and it doesn’t make it a correct thought, it’s just a thought.

It makes you simply human! Our minds and our ability to think are our greatest strength. It’s also our greatest weakness. Humans have gone to war over our thinking. Have killed people based on their thinking. Self-harmed because of our thinking. I had anorexia at fourteen years of age and nearly starved myself to death because of my thinking, despite being surrounded by food.

We shouldn’t spend our energy fighting our thoughts. They’re here for the ride that is our life. But can we please take them out of the drivers seat when it comes to how you feel about yourself and put them in the boot where they belong.

Carla Da Costa

Imagine a living, breathing person sitting next to you at a dinner party saying to your face the kind of things your thoughts say to yourself everyday. “You look fat and bloated tonight”, “God stop talking you shouldn’t have said that.” What would you do? Sit there and tolerate it for the next hour or two or would you get up and move closer to someone a little bit nicer as soon as you could?

Most of us, I hope, would do the latter. We’d think what an unhappy cruel b%$@h and hightail it out of there. We wouldn’t stick around for more of the same and then eventually buy into her thinking by the end of the night.

This is what we need to do with our own thinking. Observe and not pay it too much attention. Consider how flippant our thinking can be, how often our thinking is wrong and self-destructive and choose instead to just let our thoughts pass over us. Like water of a ducks back. We let a thought come in, we don’t grab onto it, we let it pass.

In doing this we become observers of our thoughts rather than reactors to every thought we have. We begin to see that negative thoughts are positive energy zappers and we recognise that our thoughts are our mind and are separate to who we are at our core in our hearts. There is nothing to be gained living life wrapped up in our heads.

You can breathe a sigh of relief. I’m not asking you to replace all your negative thinking with positive thoughts! It’s actually impossible. But I do have some great news. Our positive thoughts are hundreds of times more powerful than our negative ones. I hope this removes the concern we might have previously felt when a negative thought comes up for us. In fact, if we worry about having negative thoughts, our attention to them actually creates more negativity.

All we need to do is replace some of the re-occuring negative thoughts we have with positive thoughts. And as we do that we increase our power to consciously create our lives according to how we want to feel rather than let our thoughts shape how we feel. 

That’s the power of positive thoughts. We don’t need to replace everyone just some.

A Note On Adult’ing
Absolutely being an adult gives us more reason to not be the most carefree, shining person we know we can be. We have a lot of things to think about, decide on and manage beyond ourselves. We have responsibility and responsibility can weigh heavily on our thoughts and energy levels. And we have years of history, history that is not always positive, that has shaped us, that we are carrying on the inside.

The cure for feeling like adult’ing is too much? Gratitude. Because what’s the alternative? To not be alive? I’d choose adult’ing every time for as long as I can manage to be living here. It’s a privilege to have responsibility, people to care for, to have a history- even if it is a wildly mixed bag. Embrace everything and remind yourself I am in control of myself and how I show up in my life.

So your task over the next 24 hours is to simply observe your thoughts more than you believe them. And if you can I’d love for you to write down the thoughts you were surprised to hear yourself thinking repeatedly.

My hope…that you’ll see in front of you on paper, how irrational and cruel your thinking can be so you are able to stop believing and putting weight behind every thought you have.

Piece taken from the online program Shine Bright. You can learn more about it here.

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If you’re needing more personal care, I’m here to help. I’ve been completely in love with supporting and healing women for over four years. I work one-on-one so we can become clear on what you need to shift and bring more of into your life.

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Carla Da Costa

Carla Da Costa Life Coach, Certified Law Of Attraction Coach, Author and Speaker